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SPEAKER SHARES POWERFUL SUICIDE STORY IN RIDGEWOOD

The Ridgewood News - 1/20/2017

One in five youths seriously consider suicide

Jasmin McCloud

mental health professional

When Jordan Burnham speaks about his 2007 suicide attempt, he can be forgiven if he does not reveal every detail. He has no memory of the incident; whatever thoughts were going through his head shortly before he leapt from his ninth-story bedroom window have been lost to history.

But even if a few bits and pieces are missing, it doesn't matter. He has a story to tell -- a cautionary and powerful one at that. Burnham was the featured speaker at "Just Talk About It," a suicide prevention presentation held last week by the Ridgewood Public Schools Community Outreach Program.

In front of a crowd at George Washington Middle School, he spoke frankly about depression and the effects it can have on young people.

Burnham's story goes against what we as a society often conjure up when thinking about teenage depression. He was a standout athlete at Upper Merion High School in suburban Philadelphia and he was popular, having been voted class president in ninth grade; he also had been chosen for homecoming court.

But on the inside, he was unhappy. He had moved across the state with his father, who had just been hired as athletic director at Upper Merion when he was in seventh grade. Having to go through the process of making new friends and fitting in was a lot for him to handle and he felt he had no one to talk to about it. His father was busy with a new job, his mother was back in Pittsburgh looking for employment in the Philadelphia area and his sister, who he said at one point was "like his therapist," was away at college.

He kept the negativity buried beneath the surface with a fake smile and an outgoing attitude. He attended parties for the first time in his life.

"It was also the first time I started to drink," said Burnham. "I didn't drink just to black out or drink for no reason, I drank because it was the one time me and my friends could talk about something real. That was my outlet."

Signs of trouble surfaced in 2006 when he reacted unusually badly to failing his driver's test for a third time. He snapped and began "cursing out" his driving instructor and then his father.

It was at this point he began going to therapy, though he did not understand how a complete stranger could help him. This, he said, is an error many people make.

" As Burnham explained, "they go to see a therapist and the first person they see doesn't work out and they say therapy is not for me and they don't go back," said Burnham.

He was diagnosed with depression. A few months later, he was in his room and he had a bottle full of pills sitting on his desk. He called his girlfriend and said he needed help. His girlfriend call his parents, who went to his room and told him to open his door. He would not open it, so they called the police.

He went to a behavioral hospital for a week before returning to school, where he was exposed to his previous stresses; he fell back in to his old patterns.

The situation came to a head on Sept. 28, 2007, when he attempted suicide.

That morning, Burnham's father found a duffel bag full of alcohol he had hidden in the trunk of his car. Burnham came home to find his mother on the couch looking "like she's about to cry." His father then walked in with the bag of booze in hand.

"What's the point if I can't make my mom, my dad or my sister, if I can't make anyone happy what's the point of being there?" he said he thought at the time.

To this day, Burnham said, he doesn't remember going out his window. When he hit the ground, he shattered his left femur, broke his pelvis, his jaw in four places and his left wrist. Most alarmingly, he was bleeding internally from skull fractures. He was given a 40 percent chance to survive.

His story reached people far and wide after it appeared in the Philadelphia Inquirer. He said it was comforting to hear from so many people who felt they were going through a similar situation. It let him know he was not alone.

One in five youths seriously consider suicide, said Jasmin McCloud, a mental health professional who came to Ridgewood alongside Jordan with Minding Your Mind, a non-profit organization that seeks to eradicate stigma around mental health and promotes help-seeking behavior in youths.

"This is why we are here, because that's a high number," she said.

When one person from the crowd asked for the best way to approach someone you believe to be suffering from depression, Burnham said asking specific questions such as "how are you feeling?" and letting them know you are available to help in any way can make them feel safe to open up.

"You don't have to be perfect, you don't have to say the right thing," said McCloud,

One in five youths seriously consider suicide

Jasmin McCloud

mental health professional